The Twins
by cmol8806
Summary: Possible collection of one-shots about Hank and Zack Booth. Connected to Thunderstorm, Grandpa, That Booth Girl and The Oldest Booth
1. Playtime

**Okay first, I know what happened but I didn't actually see the finale. So in my world, it doesn't exist. That makes sense right? I'm going to live in my fantasy and no one can stop me.**

**Second, this is dedicated to my brothers who actually did this when we were kids.**

_The old king Obi Wan struggles against the bars of his prison as he watches the Decepticon drones dig up the earth in front of him. He wishes longingly for his light saber-death ray sword. But alas, it has been stripped from his grasp by T-Rex, an old friend he once trusted with his life. The old king glares at the betrayer standing tall next to what was believed to be his sworn enemy, Lord Voledemort, laughter in his beady black eyes._

_"Traitor! Coward!" Obi Wan yells out, anger and disgust in every syllable. "I trusted you! My son trusted you and now you're helping that snake bury me alive!"_

_T-Rex slowly advances his tone mockingly sympathetic. "Yes, I know. How evil of me."_

"_Tell me why?" King Obi Want demands._

"_You stupid old man, you know why," T-Rex sneers. "For power! Now that your son Superman is gone, once you are out of the way the kingdom is mine for the taking!"_

"_You dumb dinosaur. What about Voldemort?"_

_T-Rex steps close, lowering his voice to a gleeful whisper. "He is a trusting fool, even more than you. One CHOMP and I shall be ruler. Hahahaha!"_

"Zack! Zack I found him!"

_"My name is Lord Voldemort!" the evil snake wizard hisses._

"Oh, right."

_"My lord, we found him," one of the large robots announces, shaking dirt from his gleaming blue body._

"_Who?"_

"_Prince Superman!"_

"No way!"

"I told you we buried him by the tree!"

"Is he still frozen?"

"I don't know, I'm still trying to get the jar out. Keep going."

_"The prince!" T-Rex looks down into the hole fearfully. "Is he alive?"_

_"Yes, it looks like he is frozen in one of Mr. Freeze's jars, sir," the blue robot reports._

_"Excellent! Bring him up so that he may share his father's grave," Voldemort laughs, pointing towards an empty wooden coffin. "Two for the price of one!"_

_King Obi Wan instantly starts struggling. "No! My son!"_

"_I shall get him, my lord," the small of the two Decpticons volunteers, hopping down into the freshly dug hole. _

_There is grunting and the sound of a lid opening before…Whoosh! The Decepticon is thrown out of the hole, hitting the trunk of the large tree and falling to the ground destroyed. All look on with wide eyes as the lost prince rises from the earth; the red and blue of his clothes only slightly dulled by dirt and water. _

"_No! Impossible!" Voldemort screams, hands raised in frustration._

"_Son!" Obi Wan cries happily. "My sword!"_

_Floating in the air, Superman turns slowly towards the old king. "Father. I-"_

"Henry and Zachary Booth!"

The seven-year-old twins snap out of their game at the crisp voice of their mother. They jump up, dropping their toys to the ground. Brennan is quickly striding over, Booth and a curious Parker behind her. Their mother isn't looking at them but instead at the large mound of dirt at their feet. They both know that their smiles won't be getting them out of this one.

"What are you doing?" Brennan demands to know, crossing her arms.

"Playing," they say at the same time, both shrugging.

"Hey, guys, what's with the hole?" Booth inquires, standing shoulder to shoulder with his wife, Parker bending down to examine the small pencil box serving as a coffin.

"It's a long story, Dad," Zack sighs, disappointed that Superman's revenge on Lord Voldemort is on hold.

"Were you going to bury Obi Wan Kenobi?" Parker asks, a small smile on his face.

"No. Lord Voldemort was," Zack shakes his head, completely serious.

"Yeah, so that he can take over the kingdom," Hank adds. "Only they accidentally found his son, Prince Superman, in his ice capsule prison."

"Ice capsule prison?" Brennan frowns.

"Bones," Booth holds up the water filled jar covered in dirt.

"You froze Superman in a jar and buried him?" Brennan has to fight hard not to roll her eyes as her sons vigorously shake their heads in denial. "Who then?"

"Well that's obvious, Mom," says Parker, clearly enjoying his brother's game. "Mr. Freeze."

"Yeah!" Zack smiles brightly getting caught up in his game once again. "At first he was just supposed to freeze and bury all the cave men and dinosaurs. But T-Rex, the king's advisor, didn't like that so he corrupted Freeze."

"So Freeze went on a rampage, freezing everyone until Superman was sent to stop him!" Hank continues the story, not noticing Brennan's confusion or Booth holding back a smile.

"But Freeze tricked Superman and buried him in a frozen ice capsule prison. But before Obi Wan could find out what happened to his son, T-Rex destroyed Freeze. No one knew where Superman was-"

"Cause you forgot where you buried him," Booth says knowingly. The twins shrug sheepishly.

"Well, yeah. But T-Rex joined forces with the evil Lord Voldemort to take over the kingdom, and they were going to bury the king when instead we found Superman!"

"And that's where you came in, Momma," Hank says, risking a smile at her. But her eyes narrow and his smile falls away.

"Exactly how many cave men and dinosaurs were victims of Mr. Freeze?"

"Um…I don't know." Hank looks at his twin who shrugs back.

"Booth, there are toys buried all over the yard!" Brennan turns to her husband, scowling at his laughing eyes. "It's not funny."

"Don't worry about it Bones, ok? We'll find them and send them home, just like we always do," Booth smiles at her. He turns to his sons, wiping away his amusement as best he can. "But you two, no more digging holes got it?"

"Yes, sir," they says meekly, turning puppy dog eyes on their mother. "Sorry, Mommy."

She fights hard but something inside her softens at their looks. Damn those Booth eyes. "You're both having a bath now, you're covered in dirt. And you both will help in excavating every last toy."

"Yeah, cause they'll hate that," Booth murmurs to Parker as the other three walk into the house.

"Dad look, they put his initials onto the 'coffin' with a picture of a light saber," Parker shows his father, smiling. "How cool is that?"

"You know, you could have tried to pretend not be impressed by all this. At least until after they got in trouble," Booth chuckles leading the way into the house. "Now we know what happened to all the cups."

**Okay, so I'm having a short vacation with my brothers at the beach. The point was to try and write more for The Beginning, which I did a little. But then my brothers started talking about when we were younger and this just had to be written. I mean it; I stopped eating my strawberry shortcake just to get this out of my head. I wrote it really quick, so please tell me how it was. And yes, there are still frozen cave men and saber tooth tigers buried in our grandmother's backyard (where we lived as kids). Also I if don't have an update on The Beginning in a week, feel free to come after me with pitchforks.**


	2. First Beer

**First Beer**

A crisp breeze ripples the moonlit trees, causing seventeen year old Hank to scoot closer towards the fire before him. He lifts up the barely touch bottle of beer in his hand, rolling it thoughtfully between his fingers and watching the firelight reflect off the brown glass.

"You know, we can get into major shit for this."

"Its one beer, we'll be fine," Will Hodgins waves his hand from across the fire, fighting a grimace as he sips the bitter liquid.

"I still say we should have gotten the ale," Zack pipes up, taking a manly swig from his own bottle.

"My dad drinks the ale. Its some kind of special order stuff," Will explains again, resting his arms comfortably on his knees. He turns to Zack, his father's blue eyes shining as he smirks. "So have you sealed the deal with that cheerleader yet?"

The teen chuckles, leaning back on his log, stretching his legs. "A gentleman never tells."

"What does that have to do with you," his twin jokes.

"I get more girls than you do," Zack retorts, smugly. "Must be my irresistible good looks."

"Hey, Pinky, we're identical twins. Identical." Though he doesn't quite enjoy the taste Hank takes another drink from his beer, just enough to say he's drinking. "It's just your name, anyway."

Will takes a deep pull from his bottle, now getting into the taste. "His name?"

"Hey, I like my name!"

"Zachary Maxwell Booth," Hank laughs. "It sounds like a law firm. Or a bank."

"Well, at least my name doesn't make people hungry."

"How does that make sense?"

"Your name sounds like a brand of maple syrup." Zack chuckles as Will laughs and Hank looks incredulous. "Every time Mom or Dad lecture you I start craving pancakes."

"Hey, where did your parents come up with those names?" Will questions, draining the last of his beer.

"I don't know, never asked. This shits disgusting," Zack dumps his bottle with distaste as he stands. "Hey, come on, let's head to the diner."

"Henry Jack," Hank glowers into the fire as his brother and best friend rise. With a growl he dumps the bucket of water over the fire. "Damn it."

"Come on Pancake!" Zack calls from the car. "I'm hungry."


	3. The Sneak Attack

**This just sort of demanded to be written. To those following my other stories, I'm going to update The Oldest Booth next (hopefully within the week) then The Beginning. **

**Thanks to musicnlyrics for being my beta. She's awesome.**

**The Sneak Attack**

Pat-pat-pat-pat.

"No running!"

The rapid fire beat of small feet instantly stops and a small feminine charm smile is flashed.

"Sorry, Daddy."

Humming happily, six-year-old Chrissy hops up the stairs, unaware of the mischievous eyes watching her. Hopping in time with the song flowing in her head, she goes into her room and starts sorting through her dress-up clothes with a happy-go-lucky spirit. On goes the ruby red dress, which in her innocent eyes sparkles with thousands of gorgeous gems. Small pink tongue firmly between her teeth she digs inside the giant wooden trunk until she triumphantly tugs out her golden helmet and sword, for how else will the magic Princess-warrior defend her lab?

Turning her head the princess gasps, menacingly brandishing her enchanted weapon toward a hideous toad with a pink hat sitting askew on his head. "Wicked Wizard Hopper! What have you done with President Jasper?"

"_Da-dum."_

Chrissy looks at the doorway, delicate brows frowning just like her mother at finding it empty. She shrugs it off and again dives into the large trunk to find President Jasper Pig his tall black hat, still trapped in the thrall of her imagination.

"_Da-dum."_

"Stop," Chrissy calls out, pouting in annoyance. She glares at the still empty doorway, silently daring any figure to walk through. Not even the creak of a floorboard announces anyone's presence. Determined not to be broken from her mission, the Princess whirls away, golden helmet shinning as bright as the sun as she hatches her plan to save the President from the Wicked Wizard's gloomy dungeons.

"Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum!"

Chrissy shrieks as pounding feet quickly rush behind her. Before she can so much as lift the Styrofoam sword it is too late. Two sets of identical hands converge on her sides and the sensitive space at the bottom of her neck. In seconds her shriek is transformed into screaming laughter.

"No! Stop, STOP!" she struggles out, unable to defend herself or control her laughs.

"What's going on in there?" the children's father calls, his footsteps quickly coming closer.

The two tickling imps abandon their prey in unison.

"FLEE! FLEE!"

Booth has only a moment to recognize the two laughing speeding blurs as his twin sons before they disappear into their room down the hall. Knowing Chrissy inherited her temperament from her mother, he cautiously steps into the girl's room. His daughter is barely starting to recover, giggles dying off, and cheeks wet with tears of laughter. Her eyes go hard when they land on her father and her mouth tightens a sure sign of her anger.

"They got me, Daddy."

* * *

Relieved to have the chore of mowing the lawn done and feeling gloriously clean after showering off the grime of cut grass, Booth gratefully groans as he sinks into his favorite recliner chair. He pulls the lever to elevate his legs and after a few brief shifts for comfort, he sighs his content.

Closing his eyes, Booth rests his head back, a small smile curving his lips. Right at this moment his life seems more perfect than he ever thought it could be. He has a gorgeous, genius wife who interests him on all levels, four amazing kids and a house he helped build that is just spiffy enough to have a man-cave. And to make this moment just that much better, he has a huge slice of homemade apple pie on the little table to his right.

"_Da-dum."_

The hairs on his neck suddenly stand up and his eyes snap open. Like a crack of a whip his head turns to the open doorway. Thoughts on his napping children, he's out of his chair in an instant and silently checking all the doors and windows. Finding them securely closed he peeks in at his babies, relieved to find them each in their own beds, wrapped in the covers like little mounds of dough.

Attributing his uneasiness to over-sensitivity, Booth returns to his chair, though he now leaves his feet planted on the ground. He sits still, striving to hear any sound out of the ordinary, but nothing alerts his senses. Partly still on alert, he reaches for his pie.

"_Da-dum."_

Booth freezes at the soft whisper of sound he thinks he hears again. He waits, focused, but though his skin is prickling slightly, no alarm bells of danger are ringing in his head. Slowly he cuts off a piece of pie and it's just as the tangy apple mixture is registered on his tongue that it happens.

"Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum!"

A less than masculine yell and remains of apple pie fly out of the federal agent's mouth. His whole body jumps inches into the air, muscles rigid. The front door, whose opening had been missed during the attack, slams shut and the click of running heels sound.

"Booth?" Brennan calls with urgent concern.

The white feathered chicken mask and the evil clown mask turn to each other before they gleefully desert their victim.

"FLEE! FLEE!"

Brennan watches the two dash out of the man-cave, absorbing their adornments. Quickly piecing together the events, she fights back a chuckle as she goes in to check on her husband. She looses the battle with laughter as she watches Booth mournfully gather the pie now splattered on his chair.

"They got the pie, Bones."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Hank asks his twin with doubt, though his eyes are alight with eager deviousness.

"Yeah. I heard Daddy teasing Mommy about it," Zack assures him, both speaking in hushed tones, handing over a dark green rubber snake. "Come on, Mommy's the last one. Where is she?"

"In her and Daddy's room. What about Parker?"

Zack rolls his eyes. "Duh. Parker's not 'fraid of nothin'. Now shhh."

As silently as the ninjas they imagine themselves as, the twins sneak down the hallway. They skillfully travel down the stairs, bypassing the creaky spots. They don't bother glancing around in case they are seen, knowing their father, sister and older brother are all in the garage. As they near the open entryway to the bedroom, they hear the tap-tappity-tap of their mother's laptop. They smile devilishly at successfully timing their attack while she is writing.

They carefully peek around the corner; both pleased to see the back of their mother's head over the small lounge chair. The typing continues, assuring them of their mother's unawareness to their presence, Hank smirks as he delivers the first warning.

"_Da-dum."_

The typing stops and, hiding from sight, both twins cover their mouths to forbid laughter to betray them. The pause is brief and the typing begins again. Shoulders moving with silent chuckles, Zack leans close to the doorway.

"_Da-dum."_

Again the typing ceases and the boys wait on the edge of their sneakers. Eyes wide, their bodies tense as the silence stretches out, their little legs prepare to scurry away to avoid discovery. Just as their child-aged patience is disappearing the tap-tappity-tap begins again. With relief the boys relax. With mile-wide grins they gather the rubber snakes and attack.

"Da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-da-aaaahhhhhhhh!"

The toy snakes drop from their hands without thought as they run from the room. Their yells are so loud they don't hear the closet door open behind them. Hearing the commotion, Booth rushes in from the garage.

"What's going on?" he demands at his still yelling sons' backs. They don't appear to hear him, already at the top of the stairs. Brennan walks down the hallway laughing and Booth turns his puzzlement to her. "Bones, what the hell is going on?"

She laughs again, holding up a skull with an auburn wig sitting on top of a hanger with a sweater. Booth puts it all together and vainly tries to hide his humor, but his admiration for his wife is just too great.

"I thought we were trying not to scar the kids for life, Bones."

Brennan removes the skull from the hanger, smiling into its empty sockets. "They thought they could get me."

**So the da-dum thing (which is supposed to be the theme to Jaws) is something my brother and his three-year-old do to me. I'll be sitting there reading or something and I'll hear her little voice "da-dum. Da-dum. Da-dum-da-dum-da-dum!" and then I'm being tickled by both of them, screaming/laughing my head off only to have them "Flee away". I put up with it cause I think she's cute about it lol. So tell me what you think!**


End file.
